Bella's Wrong Face
by Aberiah
Summary: Bella wakes up early one morning, goes in the bathroom to pee, and when she looks in the mirror it is not her face staring back at her.  Fun, short, one-shot.  Bella/Edward  AH


"What...The...Fuck?"

I'm staring at what is supposed to be my reflection in the bathroom mirror, but is not. A series of things seem to happen simultaneously. My adrenaline shoots off the charts, my heart is beating out of my damn chest, I immediately shut the door, lock it, and look again.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

It takes me a minutes to realize that I am fucking chanting in here and on my way to hyperventilating. I sit down on the toilet and force myself to take deep breaths. I am desperately trying to remember all of those tips and tricks to calm someone down that have been drilled into my head for years. After a few minutes of supreme focus on this task it is working. I have calmed down a fraction.

My cognitive "flow" slows down considerably. I stand up again and walk over to face the mirror hoping that I was having some kind of psychotic episode and it wasn't real. Nope. Still not me.

_Fuck! _

Clearly I lost my fucking mind sometime between going to bed last night and coming in here this morning. . I mentally jog through a few questions.

_Whose face is this? Do I still have my body or has it changed also? _I quickly pull myself from my reflection and look down at myself.

_Okay...still my body. Has anyone else noticed? _I thank my lucky stars that my husband, Edward, is still sleeping.

_Okay...think, think, think! _I am hitting myself in the forehead with the palm of my hand pretty damn hard as if I might jar the answer loose.

_Oh! Maybe I accidentally ingested some sort of drug and I am hallucinating! Maybe it was in something I ate. Okay, okay I can see how that could happen. Shit is in the food we eat all the time. Ya...I must have gotten something from the produce section that had some weird fucking hallucinogen on it._

I actually start to feel a little better about the situation as I reach this conclusion. I realize that if I just wait this out then the effects will wear off and my _fucking face _will be mine again. I would have never believed that a thought like that would ever be crossing my mind. If I am, in fact, on some type of drug then I need to go to the ER which means that I am going to have to go in the bedroom and wake up Edward.

I face the door and look at the knob. I stand this way for a long time while I try to work up the courage to unlock that mother fucker. I am about to have that moment. You know the one. The one that determines whether I have lost my fucking mind or I am just trippin' on some really crazy shit. One look from Edward is going to fucking define me. I take a deep breath and in one fluid and swift movement I open the door and walk into the bedroom. I kneel down next to him at the head of the bed and gently shake him. He groans and shuts his eyes tighter while trying to shoo me away. I am so scared by this point that I am close to tears. I take another deep breath and shake him again. That one does it.

"What?" he groans, clearly annoyed. His eyes flutter open a little and he rubs them for a second before really looking at me. I just stare at him, not breathing, waiting for his reaction.

"What the hell Bella?" I squeeze my eyes shut. I can't see this.

"Go back to bed." He pulls the covers over his head effectively shutting me out.

_Wait...What? _I rip the covers back off of his head.

"Does my face look funny?"

That little glimmer of hope is starting to come up in my belly.

"No, leave me alone. Go back to bed"

He pulls the covers back over his head. I stand up and for a few seconds the elation that I am not a psycho nut-job builds to a boiling point. Then, I burst into a silent, happy, jumping, spinning, dance, alternately pumping my fists in the air and swinging my head around. Once I finish, I kneel down on the floor in front of Edward again. I know he is going to be pissed that I am bothering him again but I am too happy to care.

"Honey?"

"What...Bella" Yep, he's pissed.

"You have to take me to the ER. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think I may have accidentally ingested some drug on something I ate last night because I am apparently hallucinating."

Turns out I was right. There was a massive recall on lettuce in our area and there had already been about a hundred cases like mine reported within Northeast Florida. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I _also _will never, and I mean never, forget to wash my fresh produce again.


End file.
